Today, the first of October two thousand and ten, I began the first chapter in the craziest thing I’ve ever agreed to do: ControlTV. I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this, you’re already well aware of what we’re doing here, so I won’t get into detail describing it.
Today began at 6:00 AM. I woke up in utter exhaustion because I’d been up until almost 2:00am playing taxi driver for some friends coming and going from LAX. Anyway, I woke up unsure as to where the shooting was going to begin (at 7am), did a little texting with the production staff and learned that we’d be shooting at my apartment at 7:00am. 7:00am sharp and a film crew was knocking at my door ready to film me moving out of the place I’ve called home for the last two years and to capture me saying goodbye to Ashley.
This was my first experience trying to exhibit real emotion while being surrounded by a film crew, and to say it was awkward would be a serious understatement. Human beings have to adapt to survive, so as difficult as it was to ignore the horde of camera and production people following me around, I do believe with time I will be able to do this.
So I packed a bag, hopped into my new Ford Fiesta and took the drive to the new loft. The new loft is amazing; I’ve never lived in a loft-style apartment and I couldn’t believe how big the place was. The ControlTV team did a great job of furnishing the place and I’m so excited to be able to live there for the next six weeks. (That is if you all aren’t too cruel to me.)
The rest of the day was spent adjusting to the new apartment, getting comfortable in it. Ken Fuchs stopped by for a bit and we had some mimosas, which was awesome. Also, Seth Green and Matt Senreich stopped by to see how everything was going. We took a picture by one of the cameras and Seth tweeted it right afterwards – that was pretty cool.
Today was the “test-shoot” or sort of a dry run to make sure that everything was working properly, so we practiced going to get lunch (at Big Wangs) and walking around the block. I think one of the weirdest parts of this experiment (I guess it’s all really weird) is looking at the reaction on the faces of everyone was you walk around with a paparazzi-like entourage.
Anyone close to me will tell you I’ve said I was going to back out of doing this show at least a dozen times, even as recently as last night. However, yesterday I fully realized that this is no longer an option. I don’t think I can pinpoint an exact moment when I had some great epiphany – it was more of a slow realization. I looked around throughout the day at the team of people working so hard to get this show together. It was at this moment, I realized quitting or backing out would be incredibly selfish – there are far too many people personally invested deeply in this project. Like it or not, I’m in this for the next six weeks – for better or for worse.